Day Zero Plus Eight - Kisses, Tears and String Cheese

Jeff had a bad night. He had pain in his arms and shoulders and did not ask for pain meds until 5 a.m. Then the nurse gave him a bit of a hard time because he had waited so long and described his pain as 9. They made up for lost time and kept him drugged all day.

Good news: no vomiting. He ate breakfast, string cheese (the only food he actually had a hankering for and had been trying to procure from the snack cart for two days) and half of a vanilla Ensure milkshake which he thought was coffee-flavored. Note: do not offer Ensure and string cheese together. They evidently do not complement each other.

I asked if he wanted to try to watch tv but he said it wasn't necessary since he could create his own scripts behind closed eyes. Mostly he slept. He was pretty weak, too, and almost passed out when he was showering. I learned that the bathroom door opens both ways - handy. Nurse Nancy opened it out when I told her Jeff felt like he was going to pass out. He will probably get red blood cells tomorrow. That should help.

I know it was an unfortunate coincidence that the day Jeff had trouble in the shower was also the day I decided I'd had enough of this hands-off stuff, Just before he stepped into the shower, I gave him a kiss in the middle of his back and hugged him and rested me cheek against his bare back. I thought that was pretty harmless. He was headed into the shower anyway.

I encourage Jeff to eat but, of course, he never feels like it. He does the best he can. I gently - I think gently - offered a snack and he snapped at me. I often get a shrug and if I get his Elvis look that means he doesn't want to but thinks he can. He never scolded me before and he made me cry! I sat down on his bed and told him he made me cry. He said he hasn't cried yet. I guess the screen name I gave him for his new IPad is appropriate: "bist du stark" - all one word.