Yesterday Jeff, Keith and I went to church, Jeff’s first time since May. Jeff can skip the mask and gloves now but he wore them to church anyway in case our friends wanted to give him lots of hugs and kisses. Some did; some were reluctant. Although I had tried to keep Jeff up-to-date with the changes at church - the parking lot re-surfacing, for example - he noticed that the altar table was bare. It has been bare all through Pentecost, all summer. Jeff had custom-built the altar and pulpit by combining wood from the pews, pulpit and communion rails of two churches when the two congregations merged. It is often covered with paraments, covering its beautiful, curved shape. He was pleased to see it, I think.
It felt good to have Jeff beside me in the pew; I was far less emotional than when I am there alone. All through the service I worried that sitting in the pews and standing and sitting, etc. was physically taxing for Jeff. I checked a few times and he said he was alright. Well into the service, I glanced at Jeff’s face and saw that a hymn had touched him, he had tears in his eyes. He had to remove his mask to blow his nose. Seeing his or anyone else’s tears would usually have affected me, too. Amazingly, I wept only a little bit. It just felt so right to be there together. He admitted in the car on the way home that it was very difficult. Easier for me, hard for him…
We went for a walk sans mask and gloves. It felt a little less like I was walking the neighborhood with a mystery man. This will take some getting used to. And it occurred to us that bank tellers will no longer hover near their panic buttons when Jeff enters the bank.
We bought a new grill grate for Jeff’s first grilled food - chicken and peppers with lemon butter. Jeff put the food on the grill and Keith took over the cooking thereafter. Jeff said his first bite had a satisfactory grilled-food taste.
Finally, to celebrate Day 100, Jeff wrote to his beautiful, anonymous, 35-year old female donor:
Dear BMD (Bone Marrow Donor),
Today is Day 100. Hopefully by now you are fully recovered from the ordeal of donating marrow for me and your life is back to normal. My family and I are so grateful that you helped me.
My life is changed far more than my expectations even though my doctor told me that BMT recovery would be “one lousy year followed by, hopefully, many more good ones.” Reading the blogs of other BMT patients has made me realize that my experience was not as bad as some.
To celebrate Day 100 we rolled out the area rugs in our house. They had been cleaned and stored to make it easier for my family to keep the floors clean during my early recovery. This morning I went to church for the first time since May. My friends were glad to see me there and it was pretty emotional. For dinner we plan to have grilled chicken, the first food grilled outside that I have had all summer long. I can now leave the house without mask and gloves. I look forward to relaxing my food restrictions and eliminating some of the many pills from my daily regimen.
My hair is growing back and is about 5/8” long! I have some skin issues due to Graft versus Host Disease and some stomach discomfort. I am getting stronger and can walk 1 to 1.5 miles each day.
I hope you will write to me soon.
Your BMR (Bone Marrow Recipient)
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