Day 232 – That’s What Friends Are For

This week began with Jeff canceling Sunday plans with his brother, Paul.  He felt so lousy and he seemed worried which, of course, worried me.  Monday morning brought another stress migraine which causes his vision to blur.  When Keith and I left the house for work, I really didn’t like leaving Jeff alone.  He improved through the week, though, and, in true Jeff fashion, he pushed himself and was somewhat productive.  By the end of the week we decided to risk non-cancellable reservations for a long weekend, bucket-list trip to Boston later this month.

Jeff did a couple of small repairs for friends this week and got sore from his efforts.  He said it was “a good sore.”  When he went to PT, Mike was shocked when Jeff told him that he worked this week.  I keep telling Jeff to be careful what he calls “work” because the phone will be ringing off the hook if people think he’s back in business.  Mike noticed that Jeff’s scapula was popping out easily again.  He didn’t say it wasn’t a good idea for Jeff to work but he spent a lot of time on exercises to keep the scapula in place.  As usual, Jeff did his exercises a few times at home but not as regularly as he should. 

Last night we had wonderful dinner company.  Jeff’s hospital-hall-walking-buddy, Jeff R., and his wife, Marie, drove in awful, Friday-night traffic from Conshohocken to go out to dinner with us.  As soon as they stepped into our house there was a lot of laughter because we realized that the two men had never seen each other with hair!  Marie loved seeing the furniture that Jeff made and was tickled when he presented her with a caregiver spoon that he turned for her.  After a quick tour of the woodshop, a must-see for Jeff R., it was time to head out to the restaurant.

Over dinner, we got to know this resilient man a little better.  We learned that Jeff and Marie used to live in Queen Village (across from Old Swede’s Church, near where Kim lives now), we heard a little about their family and the tale of their quasi-spontaneous wedding on Monhegan Island off the coast of Maine, a favorite vacation spot.  Jeff R. is an upbeat, charming gentleman with an easy laugh and an Arkansas drawl.  A lot of our conversation was not about cancer.  However, it was that shared experience that brought us together so, of course, we talked about that, too. 

We knew a little of what Jeff R. had been through from our conversations with him at the hospital and in the waiting room at the Perelman Center.  He is a testament to what the human body and spirit can endure.  He was hospitalized for seven months when he had a liver transplant and, thankfully, does not remember parts of that stay.  He was completely de-conditioned afterwards.  He has had something like 30 chemo treatments and a few hospitalizations, including one for a stem cell transplant (his own cells).  He talks about keeping a positive attitude but somehow that doesn’t seem at all difficult for him.  I suspect that, like my Jeff, he has always been a strong, happy man.

How fun to discover that Jeff and Marie also know The Irish Dude, Daniel!  Marie said she was knitting in the waiting room at the Perelman Center when Daniel came and sat next to her.  Evidently, he knits, too!  Jeff and Marie would also like to re-connect with Daniel.  Hopefully, Nurse Jackie at Dr. Porter’s office will give Daniel our number and we’ll hear from him. 

I cannot describe the anticipation Jeff and I have for our Boston trip.  I don’t know whether it is the normalcy of taking a weekend trip or the relief that it is even possible.  Oh, I just can’t seem to say what I mean…  Jeff and Marie have not taken a vacation in the six years that he has been dealing with his cancers.  Jeff R. laughed as he began to describe Marie’s phone call to Monhegan Island, requesting the same place they stayed the year they were married.  I said, “Marie, did you play the cancer card?”  With a chuckle she admitted, “I did.”

We enjoyed ourselves immensely and, as Jeff and Marie were leaving, there was a lot of talk about “next time.”  My Jeff said, “Isn’t it nice to be able to make plans?”  Marie’s Jeff replied, “It really is.”

This morning, Jeff’s phone chirped to announce a text message from Dan.  Jeff thought Dan probably wanted to go out for breakfast and he groaned, thinking of the nice, large meal we’d had out last night.  I assured him he wouldn’t have to order a three-egg omelet; he could order toast and coffee.   Jeff exclaimed, “Oh, I wouldn’t do that!” 

He fumbled the phone while trying to send a text message and I asked if he wanted me to send a message for him.  “Yes.”  He then dictated an invitation for breakfast.  I asked Jeff whether he would like to invite Jennifer, too, because I knew I’d like to go out for breakfast.  He said firmly, “No.”  Many a Saturday morning finds Dan and Jeff in search of another stainless steel diner to tick off their list.  Just once, I thought, the ladies might be invited, too. 

Then Dan’s message came back, “Does Amy want to come, too?”  I laughed as I read out Dan’s reply. 

I sent back, “Dan, this is Amy.  I wanted Jeff to invite Jennifer, too, but he said no, it’s a guy thing.  I believe it is 3 to 1, though.  We win!” 

The reply from Dan’s phone said, “Amy, this is Jennifer.  If Jeff needs guy-time, we can go separately.” 

My final reply, “Jeff concedes.  Let’s meet at 8:30.”  We met at a local restaurant so no stainless steel this time, just our golden friendship. 

We do cherish our friendships!  New ones and old ones!