Day 308 – The Mystery Woman Speaks!

Let’s first get medical news out of the way.  Jeff’s labs this week showed better liver function and Dr. Rager laid out a slow taper for Jeff’s Prednisone, 5 mg less every two weeks, and wants labs done again in a couple of weeks.  A lower dose of steroid is good because Jeff is having some sleep issues and all the other lovely lovelies of steroid use.  (He was even beginning to get a little cranky again although I did not mention it to him.)

Now for the exciting news!  Joanne at Dr. Porter’s office faxed a three-page letter from Jeff’s donor to my work fax number – after I had left the office for the day!  No problem, I was returning to campus for class; I’d sneak into the office to get it.  Well, I wouldn’t exactly sneak in since I would probably have to call facilities and let them know what I was doing.  Anyway, none of that was necessary because my co-worker brought the letter home with her and I only had to pick it up from her house which is one block from ours.

The letter is dated July 27, 2011!  How odd!  Mystery Woman mentioned receiving several of our letters so what was the delay in our receiving hers?  If we had received this letter last summer, it would have alleviated some concerns we had about Mystery Woman’s recovery.  Jeff often wondered whether his donor was reluctant - someone who had joined the registry years ago, forgot about it and, perhaps, regretted being called.  Oh, how nice it would have been to have this wonderful letter last summer!

Just getting the letter was all so very exciting but I guess you are wondering what Mystery Woman had to say.  The letter began, “Dear Blood Brother,” and described her inspiration, a baby cousin who died of Leukemia when he was 28 months old and she was 15.  The little boy’s sister had twice given him bone marrow (I want to know more about her – How old was she each time?  How was she influenced by the experience?)  Mystery Woman’s mother helped her with her grief and told her, “God has plans for all of us and we may never know the reason but {censored cousin’s name} had an impact on many lives…”

Mystery Woman is a triathlete who met her husband, a marathoner, while both were volunteering at a {censored organization name} charity event.  She considers meeting her husband, as well as the births of each of their two children, among the many blessings that derived from her young cousin’s short life.  Ten years ago she and her husband (they were not yet married) were at an {censored name} event.  One of the runners was a cancer patient in remission who was holding a bone marrow drive.  They decided to stop by and have their cheeks swabbed.  Nine years later, when Jeff needed her, she had moved and changed phone numbers as had all of her contacts.  Her aunt got the word that she was needed. (Which aunt, inquiring minds want to know?  Perhaps it was the mother of her little cousin?  Or was it another aunt?) 

Mystery Woman addressed our silly question, “Do you have any useful traits that Jeff might gain from your marrow?”  She is not a dancer but can “hold her own.”  She says she has a great sense of direction and is stubborn, or “determined” or “willful” as she prefers to think of it.  Jeff says those are traits he has always had, too, so he is happy to know that they have a lot in common.

She writes that we may have felt that she gave Jeff a gift but she is honored to have been able to help our family and allow her little cousin to live on.

Beautiful!  We loved Mystery Woman before and even more so now that we read her kind words.  She was not a reluctant donor at all – nor a prisoner, as it turns out.  She was an enthusiastic donor, still felt good about it afterwards and the tone of the letter makes it seem likely that she will want to meet us when it is permitted.

By the time I had collected the letter from my co-worker, Jeff had returned to Kerry and Theresa’s house to finish up installing oak flooring in their upstairs hallway in preparation for Kerry’s crew this weekend.  So I had to read the letter to him on the phone.  He put me on speaker phone so that Kerry could hear it, too.  About half-way through I told the guys, “Hold on a minute.  I’m dripping on the letter.”  I dabbed my eyes and blew my nose.  When I got back on the phone, Kerry said, “Maybe if you drip on one of those black marks, we can read what is underneath.”

Kerry is busy trying to see if the censor(s) missed any identifiers.  He considers it a challenge.  Jeff and I are contemplating the many things we want to say to Mystery Woman in our next letter.  We wonder what she thought when she read our letters which never acknowledged hers! 

Mystery Woman and her family began praying for Jeff and our family as soon as they learned Jeff needed her.  We began to pray for her and her family at that time as well.  I always thought it was likely, at age 35, that she was a mother of young children.  Her children were one and three years old at the time of Jeff’s transplant.  Now that we know some particulars, we ask our team to continue to pray for her and her family.  Pray that their kindness and generosity are so contagious that others are compelled to join the bone marrow registry as well so that more and more people can potentially be helped.  Pray that Mystery Woman feels our gratitude every day and let her know that we value the short life of the little boy who set her on the path that intersected Jeff’s.