Jeff took a break from our weekend yard work and settled on the sofa with Giblet. Within minutes, he'd become very still and I thought that I'd be finishing our projects without Jeff's help. I was in the kitchen cleaning up lunch when I heard his quiet voice, "I wish I was Mexican."
When I laughed, he asked, "Don't you want to know why?"
"I know why," I told him. "You like siestas."
In fact, he did manage to do more yard work that afternoon and the yard looked lovely for our Memorial Day picnic.
Here are the birthday kids at our picnic.
Amy's Caregiver Journal following diagnosis and treatment of Jeff Loux for Myelodysplastic Syndrome, Acute Myeloid Leukemia, GVHD
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
Birthdays and Broken Things
My father used to say that if your marriage outlasts your appliances, it looks good for the long run. By his measure, our marriage is doubly strong as some of our replacement appliances are showing signs of age.
At the time of Jeff’s diagnosis and
the start of his treatments, we looked at our finances and decided that if we
are frugal (when aren’t we?), we could manage on one salary as long as we didn’t
have too many unexpected expenses, like budget-busting appliance replacements,
too close together. Just such a period
of time was highlighted – with the help of our superdog, Giblet - one night
last week. She woke us up at 3 a.m. with her nervous trembling. It
seemed as if there was some dire danger that only her canine ears could
discern. Was a storm coming? I reached for the iPad and checked the
Weather Channel. Clear weather all
around. Finally, I got up to put Giblet
out. She was disturbed, sticking close
to my side as we went downstairs and to the back door. As soon as the door was opened she raced out,
with no coaxing as would have been required if a storm was coming.
Giblet took her time, enjoying the fresh
springtime air. I rested my forehead on
the cool glass of the back door, wishing it were my pillow. Several minutes had passed when I heard a
quiet chirp of a smoke alarm battery. Ah,
that explains it. Easy fix.
Giblet finally decided to come
inside. When I got back to bed, I told Jeff
why Giblet had been upset. We began to
list the things that had recently broken or had begun to give off warning signals. In no time flat we produced a sizable list
which made us laugh at the state of things.
Broken things:
1. printer
2. dishwasher
3. lawn mower
4. pond pump
5. TV
6. dryer
7. bathroom scale
8. stove clock
9. Kim’s toe
10. my laptop
11. moto-massage
Status report:
1. Printer has been replaced.
2. The dishwasher must be run by Jeff
who can find the dial’s sweet spot to start it while Amy cannot.
3. Marrazzo’s persuaded Jeff that the
lawn mower needed the carburetor cleaned, told him how to do it and sold him
the cleaning solution. Jeff invested a
half-hour to the project and got it running in plenty of time to mow the long
grass for our Memorial Day picnic.
4. Jeff replaced the pond pump while
the frog known as “3-O’Clock” screamed at the intrusion. Amy did not believe that the frog “screamed”
until she herself scared the frog, saw it leap into the water and heard a
screech.
5. The TV in our bedroom freakishly
cycled through days-worth of our programmed weekday a.m. on/off settings - in a
space of a few minutes in the middle of the night. We replaced it with another TV we had in the
house.
6. Jeff has to run the dryer because he
can fool it into working and Amy cannot.
He intends to take it apart – someday – and fix it. Amy intends to hang the wash outside.
7. Jeff lifted the bathroom scale to
vacuum under it and it got stuck on 160 pounds.
Since Jeff would like to pretend he weighs 160 and Amy definitely does
not want to weigh 160, we replaced the scale with our old one which had been
stuck in a closet because it works fine but our presbyopic eyes have trouble
reading the numbers. We squint and get
by. Kim notes, “It could be a 2-person
job.”
8. The stove clock is missing the top
left line of the hour’s ones place so that one evening, after hours of working
in the yard, it read 6:52 instead of 8:52 making us believe we had been very,
very efficient.
9. Kim’s toe was cut and bruised (Jeff
calls it a hema-TOE-ma) when we were moving furniture around at Kerry and
Theresa’s house to get ready for baby Rosemary.
Shoes hurt, sandals help. Good
thing it’s sandals weather.
10. My 8-year-old laptop balks at all
requests to start-up. Jeff says it needs
a pull cord like a lawn mower. That
would be rough treatment for delicate electronics but it aptly describes the
effort of turning the darn thing on. We
hope to replace it before school starts in the fall.
11. The moto-massage jet on our free hot
tub stopped its up-and-down undulating motion.
Jeff discovered it just needs a nudge – finger poked into the jet opening
- to get it going.
Yesterday we went to church with Kim
in the city, helped her plant her city garden (potted plants) and brought her
home to celebrate Memorial Day, her 27th birthday, Jeff’s New Birthday
(he’s 2!) with us. We are thinking of
Nicole for whom today is the 2nd anniversary of her donation of bone
marrow to a man she did not know.
This morning is a bright and
beautiful one. The Morrisville parade
will be a great way to start our celebrations – and to remember those who have
sacrificed their lives so that we can enjoy the freedoms we take for granted. Here’s hoping you are having a pretty day
wherever you are.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
100% Nicole, 100% Rosemary
Yesterday we went to Penn’s Perelman
Center for Jeff’s two-year check-up. Instead
of taking the train, we drove because we planned to meet my sisters late in the
afternoon to prepare for our garage sale to dispose of the last of my parents’ “treasures.” We were driving down I-95 when Jeff started
to chuckle. He read the company name on
a panel truck, “Colonial Electric.” That
is too funny! He thought their logo
should have been a kite and key.
We had time for breakfast at Gia
Pronto where Jeff’s coffee was too hot and my hot chocolate was a little
cool. Oh, well. Then up to the second floor for Jeff’s labs
and doctor visit. The lab nurse called, “Lou.”
Jeff said, “You called my last name?”
The nurse replied, “No first names
here. It would be a HIPAA violation.”
We thought that was odd, usually
they call first names. In fact, we
noticed the nurses from the doctors’ offices and the receptionist area all
called patients by their first names.
Someone is confused, we think.
These are the things that amuse us as we wait and wait and wait. Today was particularly slow. We were glad we had the iPad with us. We’d brought it because we are good
grandparents, ready to show pictures to anyone who asks and to those who don’t
ask but look like they might if they know what’s good for them. We watched the Rosemary photo “channel” - All
Rosemary, All the Time – twice. Then we read magazines we had
downloaded. Finally, Jeff was called to
the exam rooms. A stop at the nurses’
station revealed his excellent bp (110/70) and
excellent heart rate (58).
Dr. Allison Rager walked into the office
with a “baby bump.” We’d seen her in
February but must not have noticed that she was expecting; the “bump” was probably
hidden by her lab coat. We asked her due
date – May 31st! Of course,
we showed her pictures of Rosemary and she oohed and aahed appropriately. She told us that she was moving to Pittsburgh
now that her two-year fellowship is over.
We will miss Allison. She was the
doc who monitored Jeff’s transplant and now she leaves him at his significant
two-year mark.
The visit was otherwise the same
routine as usual: labs, visit with Allison and then both she and Dr. Porter. We learned that the chimerism test that was
done in February shows Jeff’s blood is still 100% Nicole’s. That’s great!
And Jeff’s blood counts were good.
Jeff asked Allison about Nicole’s
allergies to penicillin and sulfa drugs.
She explained that they don’t know enough about how much of the donor’s
immune system transfers to the recipient and that is why Jeff takes a sulfa
drug three times a week – the risk of infection outweighs the possibility that
he would also be allergic to the drug.
It is also the reason for the childhood immunizations that were
scheduled for this visit: DTaP (he needed this for taking care of Rosemary,
too), MMR, Hib and Strep/Pneumonia.
The liver function tests always come
back late in the day after we’ve gone home so, as usual, Allison promised to
call later with the results and instructions about Cellcept. Dr. Porter assured Jeff that it was still
possible to eventually wean off of the immunosuppressant although some people
end up staying on Cellcept indefinitely.
He also reminded us that hitting the two-year anniversary from BMT is
really significant.
I admit to shedding a few tears when
we said goodbye to Allison.
Back to the waiting room for more
waiting and waiting for his appointment across the hall in the chemo area. These appointments for immunizations confuse
staff on the physician/lab side of the hallway because they are given in the
treatment rooms. Patients there are
usually getting blood transfusions or chemo treatments. One nurse said, “Immunizations? Do we do that here?”
I noticed a woman scheduling her
next appointment at the receptionist’s desk.
She had that beautiful look cancer patients get when they’ve been through
hell and are recovering - a little peach fuzz on the head, a relaxed face, and eyes
that seem to say, “Nothing can scare me now.”
When the oncologist’s office gives you an appointment, you just go. It is unusual to say, “That date doesn’t work
for me.” But this woman was bold enough
to say, “Well, I was going to have my
hair done that day.” Good sense of humor
- an essential tool.
Jeff noticed that people were being
called ahead of him so we asked how much longer we might expect to wait. Although he had an appointment, the order for
the shots was not sent properly so he was only just now (at our prompting) put
in the queue. More waiting.
Finally, he was called to the
treatment room, got his two subcutaneous shots and two in muscle tissue (the
ouchy ones), and off we went. We’d been
there for five hours.
Late in the afternoon Allison called
with the results of the liver function tests.
They were only slightly better so no taper is possible at this time. More
blood work next month to make sure there is continued improvement and avoid the
need for steroids.
There was no time for the customary
post-doctor-visit-nap until after the garage sale at my parents’ house on
Saturday. Jeff made up for it by taking
a 3-hour nap after which he looked, well, not very much improved. He had come down the stairs, heavy-footed,
went right to the sofa and sat on the edge, rubbing his eyes, then propping up
his head, elbows on knees. Even dinner
did not revive him much. So I was
surprised when I heard him stumbling up the stairs, struggling with
something. It was the vacuum hose. I thought, “Oh, so we’re going to do some
housecleaning.” I grabbed a dust rag and
we together we zipped the upstairs. The
activity helped.
We were able to see our new
granddaughter several times this week, changed diapers, talked to her, soothed
some cries and delivered lots of kisses.
How lucky are we?
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Blood Connections
Jeff and our little rosebud,
Rosemary (born May 5th)
This moment made possible by Jeff’s
donor, Nicole.
And, of course, Kerry and Theresa,
and
the good Lord!
Last Friday, Jeff and I enjoyed
talking to Nicole for almost an hour. We
put Jeff’s cell on speaker to save his fingers from cramping (as happened
during their first call) which allowed me to participate in the conversation,
too.
We asked Nicole more questions about
the donation process. For instance, “Did
you feel that Gift of Life prepared you for the process and your recovery?” (This was a criticism we’d heard from another
donor who said she did not feel cared for once the harvest took place.) Nicole knew she would not be able to lift her
one-year-old for two weeks and she expected the two-month recovery. However, she was unprepared for the 2 ½ hour
procedure. And the anesthesia made her
sick.
“Were you able to enjoy your visit
to New York at all or was it all hospital and hotel rooms?” we wanted to know. She confessed to being “bullheaded,”
determined to take advantage of two days in NY to tour with her mother. They rode a bus and got off and on many
times. She admits it was probably not a
good idea and that she should have rested.
“Was your mother very worried about
you?” I asked but was pretty sure I already knew the answer.
“Oh, yes!” Nicole confirmed. She is very close to her mother and they
speak on the phone almost every day.
Conversation moved to her children
who are adorable (we’ve seen them on Nicole’s Facebook page). Kindness and generosity are taught early in
Nicole’s family. Her three-year-old
daughter recently donated 10” of her hair to Locks of Love: http://www.locksoflove.org/
Nicole suggested that we take Theresa
for a ride in a car with bad suspension to bring on labor. As we wrapped up our conversation she
reminded us to let her know when there is baby news.
It turns out that after a tiring day
of flea-marketing with Kim and me on Saturday, Theresa decided to mow the
lawn. I guess their ride-on mower worked
as well as Nicole’s suggestion because that evening labor pains began. We are very happy to be members of the
Grandparents Club. To quote my brother, “It’s
pretty awesome.”
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