Birthdays and Broken Things

My father used to say that if your marriage outlasts your appliances, it looks good for the long run.  By his measure, our marriage is doubly strong as some of our replacement appliances are showing signs of age. 

At the time of Jeff’s diagnosis and the start of his treatments, we looked at our finances and decided that if we are frugal (when aren’t we?), we could manage on one salary as long as we didn’t have too many unexpected expenses, like budget-busting appliance replacements, too close together.  Just such a period of time was highlighted – with the help of our superdog, Giblet - one night last week. She woke us up at 3 a.m. with her nervous trembling.   It seemed as if there was some dire danger that only her canine ears could discern.  Was a storm coming?  I reached for the iPad and checked the Weather Channel.  Clear weather all around.  Finally, I got up to put Giblet out.  She was disturbed, sticking close to my side as we went downstairs and to the back door.  As soon as the door was opened she raced out, with no coaxing as would have been required if a storm was coming.

Giblet took her time, enjoying the fresh springtime air.  I rested my forehead on the cool glass of the back door, wishing it were my pillow.  Several minutes had passed when I heard a quiet chirp of a smoke alarm battery.  Ah, that explains it.  Easy fix.

Giblet finally decided to come inside.  When I got back to bed, I told Jeff why Giblet had been upset.  We began to list the things that had recently broken or had begun to give off warning signals.  In no time flat we produced a sizable list which made us laugh at the state of things.

Broken things:

  1. printer

  2. dishwasher

  3. lawn mower

  4. pond pump

  5. TV

  6. dryer

  7. bathroom scale

  8. stove clock

  9. Kim’s toe

10. my laptop

11. moto-massage

Status report:

1. Printer has been replaced.

2. The dishwasher must be run by Jeff who can find the dial’s sweet spot to start it while Amy cannot.

3. Marrazzo’s persuaded Jeff that the lawn mower needed the carburetor cleaned, told him how to do it and sold him the cleaning solution.  Jeff invested a half-hour to the project and got it running in plenty of time to mow the long grass for our Memorial Day picnic.

4. Jeff replaced the pond pump while the frog known as “3-O’Clock” screamed at the intrusion.  Amy did not believe that the frog “screamed” until she herself scared the frog, saw it leap into the water and heard a screech.

5. The TV in our bedroom freakishly cycled through days-worth of our programmed weekday a.m. on/off settings - in a space of a few minutes in the middle of the night.  We replaced it with another TV we had in the house.  

6. Jeff has to run the dryer because he can fool it into working and Amy cannot.  He intends to take it apart – someday – and fix it.  Amy intends to hang the wash outside.

7. Jeff lifted the bathroom scale to vacuum under it and it got stuck on 160 pounds.  Since Jeff would like to pretend he weighs 160 and Amy definitely does not want to weigh 160, we replaced the scale with our old one which had been stuck in a closet because it works fine but our presbyopic eyes have trouble reading the numbers.  We squint and get by.  Kim notes, “It could be a 2-person job.”

8. The stove clock is missing the top left line of the hour’s ones place so that one evening, after hours of working in the yard, it read 6:52 instead of 8:52 making us believe we had been very, very efficient.

9. Kim’s toe was cut and bruised (Jeff calls it a hema-TOE-ma) when we were moving furniture around at Kerry and Theresa’s house to get ready for baby Rosemary.  Shoes hurt, sandals help.  Good thing it’s sandals weather.

10. My 8-year-old laptop balks at all requests to start-up.  Jeff says it needs a pull cord like a lawn mower.  That would be rough treatment for delicate electronics but it aptly describes the effort of turning the darn thing on.  We hope to replace it before school starts in the fall.

11. The moto-massage jet on our free hot tub stopped its up-and-down undulating motion.  Jeff discovered it just needs a nudge – finger poked into the jet opening - to get it going.

Yesterday we went to church with Kim in the city, helped her plant her city garden (potted plants) and brought her home to celebrate Memorial Day, her 27^th birthday, Jeff’s New Birthday (he’s 2!) with us.  We are thinking of Nicole for whom today is the 2^nd anniversary of her donation of bone marrow to a man she did not know.

This morning is a bright and beautiful one.  The Morrisville parade will be a great way to start our celebrations – and to remember those who have sacrificed their lives so that we can enjoy the freedoms we take for granted.  Here’s hoping you are having a pretty day wherever you are.