Gifts, Treasures and Light the Night

Monday was an exciting day at our house.  In fact, it was so exciting that Jeff ran over to Kerry and Theresa’s house at 7:30 a.m., collected Rosie and brought her to our house to watch the goings on!  We had our two big oak trees removed!  One was diseased and the other, although healthy, was heavy with branches to one side.  Jeff was concerned it would cause damage to our house or a neighbor’s house if a superstorm toppled it.  It was sad to see them go since it will severely change the way we use our back yard.  We will replant – a willow oak or tulip poplar or something.

Back to the exciting part:  One worker was lifted high into the tree on the ball of a crane and then spent the day in the tree, coming down only for lunch. There were loud trucks and loud men, enormous chainsaws, sawdust.  I had warned Jeff that he wouldn’t be able to keep Rosie at our house with all that noise!  Boy, was I wrong!  Jeff and Rosie watched from the back porch, in a lawn chair at the back of the garage, from the dining room.  They went for walks so they could see it from vantage points all around the block.  I should have guessed that Rosie, the daughter of two engineers, would be right there with Jeff, enjoying the hub-bub.  Jeff sent a picture of Rosie to me at work with the caption, "Watching the Tree Men.  It's a nail-biter!"

One day last week Jeff called me at work.  He had just arrived home and noticed there was a delivery – a box from Gift of Life.  He put the phone down to open the carton, then picked up the phone and said, “There’s another box.  Wait a minute.”  I heard sounds of packaging material rustling.  Finally Jeff said, “It’s a crystal, a trophy.”

I teased, “Well, it was worth having a transplant if you get a trophy!”  It has both Nicole’s and Jeff’s names, the date they met and “Partners for Life.”  Nicole also has one.  It is a beautiful commemorative piece.   

We have had some very nice email messages from the staff at Gift of Life and family and friends who supported our teams for both the Gift of Life and the upcoming Light the Night event.  It seems most nights we have a few emails to write, thank you messages mostly.  And so we are still riding the high from meeting Nicole. 

It seems as if we will have a continued relationship with Gift of Life and we are happy to help them promote the value of swabbing.  Our Light the Night coordinator has plans for Jeff as well.  Stay tuned for news of future public speaking engagements.  

Lately, when answering the question, “How was meeting Jeff’s donor?” I have managed to make people cry.  We have shared the children’s book we wrote for Nicole’s children – that makes people cry.  Several people told me that our last blog entry, “The Big Meet,” made them cry (and I worried it was too bland).  It takes me a little by surprise when others cry while I do not (that’s new!).  On occasion, a tear escapes but not so much that I can’t continue to talk.  I don’t mean to wring tears out of the people around me but I realized that I am grateful for their emotion.  It reminds me that the link between Jeff and Nicole is not an everyday, commonplace thing.  It is a treasure, a gift. 

There is still time to support our Light the Night Team.  Use the link on the right, if you are so inclined.

Gift of Life – The Big Meet

On the eve of The Big Meet we enjoyed a nice dinner in Paramus with Gift of Life staff members, Gregg and Tamara.  We had an opportunity to ask questions about the process from their perspective and to tell about Jeff’s diagnosis, treatment, transplant and our exchange of letters with Nicole.  We talked about the many people who had a hand in the matchmaking:  from Nicole’s swabbing at an event to the lab technicians who processed her sample and those who identified her as Jeff’s match, the Gift of Life staff members who tracked down Nicole’s aunt and eventually Nicole, the medical staff who collected her marrow, the volunteer who took the marrow from New York to Philadelphia, etc.  Jeff figures thousands of hands had something to do with his recovery.  You have to feel a little jealous of people like Gregg and Tamara who get to work daily toward such happy outcomes.  Anyway - good food, good company.

We woke up early on the big day.  Jeff was nervous about speaking in front of a crowd although he was well prepared.  We were both a little giddy as we waited to head over to Van Saun Park.  I confess that I found myself pacing the hotel room aimlessly.

The Big Meet did not disappoint although there was one minor glitch.  Nicole did a beautiful job on stage talking about her experience but instead of Jeff telling his story, his time on stage was spent standing by while someone else related his tale.  It’s all good.  It probably saved us all from getting too blubbery as we most certainly would have if he’d delivered his heartfelt message to Nicole in front of the microphone.  Instead, he delivered his speech after the walk to a small crowd including Nicole, a few family members and myself.  (There were tears.)  Later Ruth, a Gift of Life staffer, told Jeff there would be no problem checking “public speaking” off his bucket list.  She will see to that! 

Jeff and Nicole led the walk, Nicole’s husband, Scott, and I followed.  Our team of twelve family members walked and ran by us. Our team members were able to spend some time after the walk/run getting to know Nicole and Scott.  We felt immediately as though they were extended family to us.  Lots of laughter, plenty of hugs, good conversation… a joyful occasion.

There is no gift we could have bought for Nicole to appropriately commemorate the occasion.  We’d decided hand-crafted gifts were the way to go.  Jeff, of course, made a spoon and spatula for Nicole.  And we presented her with a children’s book that we began writing for her children around the time we learned her identity in May.  It is based on the transplant experience and is called The Butterfly and the Carpenter Bee.  You can probably guess which one is Nicole and which one is Jeff. 

The Mel Cohen Memorial 5K for Gift of Life was a great celebration for bone marrow donors and recipients!  It was wonderful to talk to other recipients, hear their stories, celebrate their survival and to hear about their meetings with their donors.  We had the pleasure of meeting Jay Feinberg, founder of Gift of Life.  He is a soft-spoken, gracious man.  It was an honor to meet him and thank him for his part in Jeff and Nicole’s story.  

We also met a few donors and caregivers.  Mel Cohen’s wife, Sandy, told us Gift of Life and Mel’s donor gave her four more years with Mel.  She is grateful for those bonus years.  This event, in Mel’s memory, is a successful fundraiser for Gift of Life, the top team raising an incredible $20,000 for the organization.  All of the proceeds will cover processing costs associated with swabbing.  (Thank you, team members Becky, Sam and Kerry for swabbing!)

We had lunch with Nicole, Scott, Kerry and Kim and spent the rest of the day, into the evening and the following morning talking and talking and talking.   Nicole and Scott were polite enough to watch a slideshow of our un-edited Bermuda photos as well as several shots of little Rosie.  (Theresa and Rosie were not able to share the occasion due to a medical emergency in Theresa’s family.  They could use your prayers.)  

Jeff and I thank all of you for your love, prayers and support on this momentous occasion. 

T Minus 2 days!

The “Big Meet,” as Nicole calls it, is only two days away!  Marti from Gift of Life called to tell us what to expect on the big day: two separate tents for Jeff and Nicole with staff members on duty to keep our two “stars” apart until the proper moment, the order of those called to the stage (Jeff then Nicole), the music (including the Maccabeats, the a cappella group from Yashiva University whose YouTube video campaign on behalf of Gift of Life is legendary!), the refreshments (I’m thinking of Pop, “Will there be refreshments?”  Of course!), who we may meet (Jay Feinberg, the founder of Gift of Life, and members of Mel Cohen’s family for whom the event is named).

Dog care is covered - thanks Kerry, Theresa and Emily.  Bags are not yet packed although I have already set aside my waterproof mascara.  Weather should be decent.  That’s good.  We have given some thought to what we might do with Nicole and Scott on Monday (hiking, maybe?).

We have a team of about ten people and have had to adjust our team fundraising goal twice!  Thanks to Kim’s friends for our most recent contributions and to all who are supporting us.  It’s not too late if you haven’t.  Use the Gift of Life button on the sidebar and choose “Support Bist du Stark? (Are You Strong?)” under Jeff’s picture.  

We are so pleased to help Gift of Life work towards their vision,

“a match, anytime, anywhere, for anyone.”

And, of course, we can't wait to meet Nicole!  We’ll post pictures - stay tuned!