Thursday’s visit with Aunt Joan, Uncle Oscar and family was very nice. The trip was Jeff’s idea and so he insisted on driving both ways. This was the first time since BMT that he drove a long distance and he seemed sort of proud of himself. Mother was relaxed and did not seem to be worried about leaving my father for the day, even when we began to see snowflakes out of Aunt Joan’s picture window. During the last year, my mother and I have shared our feelings and concerns about being caregivers. I think we have held each other up a lot and I was pretty sure it would be a challenge for Mother to enjoy the day and not worry. The drive out is a little more than two hours, lunch and visiting, the return trip… in all, we were away for eight hours. It was good to see my aunt and uncle, my cousin Carol and her husband Dave, their daughter and two fun grandchildren. Back at the “ranch,” Linda took care of Pop in the morning as usual and Keith stayed with Pop the whole day. Almost as soon as we got back home to Pop, he told us, “The day went really fast!” What a relief! His comment revealed that he was concerned about being without Mother for the entire day. He was a trooper and seemed to have made the best of it.
On Friday, Jeff and I spent a lovely day touring the Woodmere followed by lunch at a Japanese restaurant that I had once been to with Kim. It appeared as if lunch was going to be difficult for Jeff because his hand tremors have been giving him a little trouble. Osaka is one of those restaurants that provide only chopsticks and you don’t want to embarrass yourself by asking for silverware. Except for flipping a chopstick into his lap once, he did very well, enjoying a bento box lunch with six compartments for six menu items. He shoveled his food like a hungry teenager or a BMT patient in an urgent, steroid-induced hunger. He asked me whether he should eat the salad and I nodded, not realizing he was asking whether it was safe for him to eat the salad. He isn’t supposed to eat raw vegetables at restaurants except when he can guarantee the veggies are washed really, really well. When he lifted the top layer of the box and revealed the three bottom compartments, I saw that one of them held three pieces of sushi. I said, “Now THAT, you should not eat!” He pouted and asked, “Why not?” I shrugged. It is all about risk management and I don’t like to be the one to tell him what he should sacrifice. Ultimately, it is up to him.
Unfortunately, by 5 p.m. we both had re-runs of our lunches. If my mother and Keith hadn’t also gotten sick within 24 hours, we might have thought it was food poisoning. We took turns vomiting all evening. I wasn’t sure if I should do anything special for Jeff – like call his oncologist. I did take care to wipe the sink, toilet and vomit basins after each time either of us threw up. I changed my clothes frequently to minimize carrying germs back to bed with me. Who knows whether it made any difference since we were already both sick. Keith was out with friends but by 9:30 p.m., I texted him to ask for his help. Soon after he arrived home, his parents were simultaneously vomiting. Poor guy! He used his dad’s gloves and face masks, hand sanitizer and a trash can with a foot pedal and helped us keep everything as clean as is possible in these situations.
By Saturday morning, Jeff was able to do our gross laundry and changed bedding. For some reason, Jeff recovered quicker than I did. Maybe it is because he has been taking anti-viral medications for seven months while he builds a new immune system. Pre-BMT, Jeff rarely got sick and when he did, he would have a mini-version of whatever the rest of us got. A 24-hour bug for everyone else was an 8-hour bug for Jeff. So this quick recovery was familiar and a little irritating.
My fever broke the evening of New Year’s Eve. We hadn’t made any plans this year so there was no party to be disappointed about missing. However, we had to tell Kerry, Theresa and Kim not to come for New Year’s Day dinner. Bummer!
For all of his precautions, Keith began throwing up early Sunday morning. I was not sure yet whether I was well enough, so Jeff tended to Keith. One of the times he was up with Keith, Jeff put the dog out. As if things weren’t disgusting enough, when he opened the back door to let her in, Giblet sat resolutely on the porch with the tell-tale sheepish look that says, “I am not fit to enter the house. I have eaten something which needs help leaving my body. I do most humbly apologize. Please help me.” Jeff left her there on the back porch, embarrassed and disgraced, while he fetched a rag to perform the necessary assistance.
I confessed to Jeff that I really, really did not like being sick for a couple of short days - oh, the guilt that confession produces! Jeff has been sick or recovering for sooo very long and never, ever complains. He is such a good egg!
And so, all around, I cannot help wishing for good health in 2012!
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