Wednesday, January 22, 2020

A Party, a Fun Find, the Certainty of Taxes, and Where are they Now?


Jeff climbed into bed and clicked on the TV for his usual few minutes of distraction before clicking it off and falling - infuriatingly – instantly to sleep.  He never has any trouble leaving the cares of the day behind AND he can drink caffeine at any time of day without it affecting his ability to fall asleep at will.  He knows not to watch even a few minutes of a high-action show with edgy music because that will set back my bedtime routine, sometimes irreparably.  On this night he chose something silly, a show that I was not familiar with. 

“What do you have on?” I asked.

Jeff stilled for a moment.  Finally, “My pajamas?”

I laughed and clarified my question, “On TV.”

Now he can get me to laugh anytime with the question, “Want to know what I have on?”

In November we reached our Ruby (40th) Wedding Anniversary.  Our children asked (we may have given hints or even outright asked) if they could throw us a party to commemorate the occasion.  Jeff wondered whether 40 years was an unusual anniversary for a party and I told him not to worry – we’ll plan on having another one for our 50th.  It was fun to see our long-time friends and family together with our newer friends (some we met through Cancer Support Community - Gilda’s Club) in the same room enjoying themselves.
  
The New Year was inspiration enough for a basement cleaning.  We found a stash of get-well cards from the time Jeff was diagnosed and in treatment for blood cancer and recovering from bone marrow transplant.  We decided to look through them one more time before recycling them.  Several nights at dinnertime we read a few of the messages and well wishes and remembered the kind things people did for Jeff and our family during that time.  We noticed that some folks sent several cards over the year and half or so that Jeff needed care and prayers.  And we noticed that we’d heard from people in all of our circles – family, friends, neighbors, church, work, scouts, our children’s friends…  We basked again in the love shown to us.

That same week I had another reminder – a little weird, maybe - of the time that has passed since Jeff’s illness.  I keep eight red IKEA boxes to store eight years’ worth of tax records for Jeff’s business.  At the end of each year the contents of the oldest box are shredded and the box is re-labeled for the current tax year.  Jeff and I took turns at the shredder – I with sinister delight - watching as the financial evidence of Transplant Year were destroyed. 

Barby from Gift of Life asked Jeff if he would participate in the “Where are they now?” series for bone marrow recipients and donors.  He responded with a hearty “YES!”  We are pretty sure Jeff’s donor, Nicole, would be equally willing.  We don’t know yet what this will entail but we are eager to see what Gift of Life has in mind.  They do a really good job of promoting bone marrow donation and take very good care of their donors and recipients.  And, of course, they gave Jeff the Gift of Life.

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